We Always Hurt the Ones We Love

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Upon recently re-discovering The Long Hard Road Out of Hell, the New York Times bestselling Marilyn Manson autobiography that gripped me as a teenage goth, I came across this 1990 interview conducted by the musician in his previous career as a music journalist. The interview, for South Florida lifestyle magazine 25th Parallel, features Bondage and Discipline specialist Mistress Barbara, a telling tale of the double sided nature of domination in the early 90s, in one case shrouded with secrecy, the trouble to which she goes to conceal her location is revealing, to the freeing nature of the gift she instills in her clients.

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[cont’d]-battered boy toy responds quickly, stretching his leg sideways at an awkward angle.
As pancake-size red welts form around Stan’s mangled breasts, I ask him how he feels. Slowly and carefully he mumbles, “Restrained…I feel something but it’s hard to pin a certain emotion on it.”
“Stan is not an articulate person and he always understates everything,” the groin-gouging guru interjects. “I’ve always felt that men should be kept in cages and stables like dogs and horses and taken out only when you want to play with them. It’s very convenient.
The camera beings to flash and Stan winces for the paparazzi as Mistress Barbara answers the door. It’s Bob, her part-time slave. He carries in a large box that she says is filled with black market transvestite videos. Bob is a retired grandfather who serves Mistress Barbara with his wife’s reluctant permission.
“My wife accepts this but she’s not into it,”
Bob explains while fidgeting with the change in his pocket. “She knows it’s a big fantasy of mine and I enjoy it. As long as she knows where I’m at and that the people are sane and discreet, it’s okay. I don’t go with other women, and there’s no real hanky panky going on here.”
Whether it’s Bob, Stan or any others, Mistress Barbara leads her hedonistic life. She spends her free time sailing, flying or diving. She eats when and where she wants and she never has to worry about sexual satisfaction; she has them trained for that. “Stan’s not allowed to have an erection unless I say. He has learned to function on command.”
She represents everything a woman is about while at the same time contradicting what we believe is normal behavior. Besides that, she has never been arrested and she makes a hell of a lot of money.
I decide that its time to head back to apple-pie-and-no-sex-till-marriage America, so I don my adhesive eye patches and follow her into the humid afternoon sunlight. As we trod forward by Braille, in search of the car, she concludes by whispering, “They think I am wonderful. Somebody else might think I’m the biggest jerk. So what not be where you have adoration?”
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